The Ambiguously Gun Control Duo

THE STORY: President Obama is pondering using executive action to tighten gun control, according to everyone's favorite sidekick, Veep Joe Biden. It's unclear what the action would be, but they're going to do something. Action.

WHAT CAN POTUS DO? It's unclear what Obama has up his sleeve but one thought is that he could sidestep Congress and bolster federally funded mental-health programs or even prosecute gun background check liars. There's a lot of rumors. No one's sure.

WHO IS TALKING ABOUT IT? Everyone, after Sandy Hook. Biden has a task force that will present proposals by the end of the month to the big O, who will try to push a package through Congress.

HOW'S IT GOING? Biden's first big meeting included gun-control leaders and victims, who reported back that while Biden has shown r-e-s-p-e-c-t for the Second Amendment (guns), the focus has been more on assault weapons, background checks, and high-capacity magazines. Things will probably be a little more tense today when Biden meets with the NRA and reps from Walmart. They both really like guns.

THE *: Also on the White House's plate, Obama has decided to nominate current White House chief of staff, Jack Lew, to be the next Timothy Geithner, a.k.a. top dog at the Treasury. Bottom dog in handwriting class.

REPEAT AFTER ME...What to say after you threaten to quit... Yeah, that was a really, really dumb move. My bad. AIG has decided to reconsider suing the United States. The mere thought of AIG even debating such a move drew a LOT of criticism, since the insurance company exists today because of the bailout the US gave it in '08. The former CEO is suing, though, because he feels shareholders were cheated out of money during the bailout. AIG's decision to stay out of it was probably made easier by such comments like one from a former Obama advisor saying, "GO SCREW YOURSELVES." Just smile and look pretty at your Uncle Sam-owned desk, AIG.

What to say at the juice bar... Orange juice, hold the 'roids. I've seen what they can do. For the first time since 1996, no players were selected for induction into baseball's Hall of Fame. Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, and Roger Clemens got shut down, in what many consider to be the biggest slap in the face (or other body part) to the "steroids era." The decorated players have all been linked to performance-enhancing drugs throughout the years. Sosa released a statement saying it was an "honor to be nominated." Famous-speak for 'I'm going to go cry now.'

What to say when you tell your office you'll be in late... Sorry, the handyman's coming to check the pipes today. It's not really a lie, if you're going in for your Pap smear. A new study suggests that stirrup-time at the doctor's may one day check not only for cervical cancer, but uterine and ovarian cancers as well. A three-for-one special! We gotta ask if this will reverse guidelines that suggest you don't need Pap smears annually. Time to embrace the one stick with a brain.

What to say when you yell at your intern... I'll probably regret that one day when I have to ask him for a job. Some bigwigs at Morgan Stanley can empathize with that thinking, as 6% of the institutional securities unit (yah, that exists) are set to be laid off this week. Senior employees are said to be targeted in the cuts, also known as those who take home the most bacon. The deep cuts are a sign that banks are still struggling, which may mean, for MS, a spin-off or even ditching some of its trading biz.

What to say when someone sneezes on the subway... Get away from me, seriously. There's a mean flu going around and it's getting worse by the day. It's already widespread in 44 states. As if winters in Boston weren't bad enough, Beantown declared a public health emergency after confirming 700 cases of the flu. God bless you.

What to say to your friend at the CES conference... Trade shows, eh? The famed tech trade show is well under way and even brought out Bubba, but the real question is... did they present this new pic of Blue Ivy?

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