Skimm for April 11th

Skimm'd with Manischewitz

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"April consumed all food offered" – New York Zookeepers, confirming that April the Giraffe is still very pregnant. And that pregnancy cravings aren't just for humans.

THINGS FAILING AT CUSTOMER SERVICE

WELLS FARGO

THE STORY

Yesterday, Wells Fargo's board put out a report card on how the company handled its massive sales scandal. It got an F.

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

Last year, it came out that Wells Fargo had spent years opening millions of bogus accounts and credit cards without customers' permission. This was to meet ambitious sales goals. The company was fined $185 million and former CEO John Stumpf was shown the door. And yesterday, the company's board released the results of its own investigation. They're pinning a lot of the blame on a former sales exec, saying she misled the board about how widespread the cheating was. And that Stumpf looked the other way. Now both execs are being forced to give back tens of millions of dollars in compensation.

theSKIMM

Wells Fargo is one of the largest banks in the US. This has done nothing for the industry that's still struggling to recoup its image – almost 10 years after the financial crisis.


UNITED AIRLINES

THE STORY

Yesterday, everyone saw that video of the United Airlines passenger being physically dragged off an overbooked flight.

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

Earlier this week, United overbooked a flight leaving from Chicago, IL. It asked for volunteers to give up their seats in exchange for vouchers. No one budged. So United randomly picked people to kick off the plane. One guy – who said he was a doctor and had to get home to see patients – refused to get off. And cue the viral video of him being literally dragged from the flight by security. He was apparently injured in the process and a later video shows him with blood on his face. United's CEO said that the passenger was being "disruptive and belligerent." He also said it was an "upsetting event" and that the company's looking into it. In the meantime, one of the security officers involved has been put on leave.

theSKIMM

There are still lots of questions about what exactly happened here. Either way, United's not coming out of this looking fly.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…

San Bernardino. Yesterday, a shooter opened fire in an elementary school classroom there, killing his estranged wife (who was a teacher at the school) and then himself. Two students were also critically injured and taken to the hospital. One of them later died. The shooter got in after telling the school he just wanted to drop something off for his wife. Authorities say it looks like a murder-suicide and that he wasn't targeting the kids. This comes just over a year after a terrorist attack in San Bernardino, when a husband and wife shot and killed 14 people in an office building.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN THE OFFICE INTERN TEACHES YOU SOME POWERPOINT SHORTCUTS…

Times have changed. Tesla's saying the same. Yesterday, the electric car maker cut off GM to become the most valuable US car company on the stock market. This comes just a week after Tesla stock left Ford Motor in the dust. Both GM and Ford have been making cars for over a century. Their names have been synonymous with American manufacturing. Tesla showed up to the party in the 2000s. But its electric, tech-savvy cars became the shiny new toy that all the cool kids had to have. And unlike the old-time brands, sales have been on the up and up. It probably doesn't hurt that Tesla's going to intro a more wallet-friendly model later this year. So investors think the future's looking fast and furious. Vroom.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO'S EXCITED FOR THE MONICA LEWINSKY "AMERICAN CRIME STORY"…

Then there's this. Yesterday, Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley (R) resigned over a sex scandal. Last year, a NSFW recording came out between Bentley and a married female adviser. He pulled the 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' card. The aide resigned. State lawmakers and ethics officials launched investigations into the whole drama and whether Bentley broke any state laws. Last week, they released their findings. Turns out, Bentley allegedly used his position to intimidate state employees to keep their mouths shut. And he reportedly misused state resources (think: campaign funds, the state plane). Yesterday, Bentley said 'guilty' to two misdemeanor charges. And cut a deal with the state attorney to step down in exchange for having the other felony charges dropped. So it's unlikely that he'll go to jail for this. Roll tide.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO CAN SPEND HOURS AT A BOOKSTORE…

Add Colson Whitehead's The Underground Railroad to the list. And bookmark this New York Times feature. Yesterday, they both won Pulitzer Prizes.

PS: The New York Times is a minority investor in theSkimm

SKIMM MONEY

$400,000: How much Golden State Warriors star Draymond Green pocketed after taxes and other expenses in his first year on the job. Aka when he was right out of college. Here's what he did to make sure he got smart about his paycheck, and fast.


SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm'bassador. Blow out the candles.

Ann Schaffer (South Orange, NJ); *Maria Vasquez (Hialeah, FL); *Hattie Miller (Chicago, IL); *Katie Threlkeld (Columbia, MO); *Kellie Strain (Philadelphia, PA); *Courtney Waldron (Houston, TX); *Tammy Son (San Francisco, CA); *Kennah Hineman (Conroe, TX); *Ryan Carter (Norman, OK); *Miranda Zolot (Charlotte, NC); *Becca Luettke (East Lansing, MI); *Jordyn Kreucher (Novi, MI); *Rachel Olsen; *Terri Hintz (Bellevue, WA); *Amy Harmon (Douglasville, GA); *Anne Daigler (Buffalo, NY); *Tiffany Kuo (San Francisco, CA); *Keelia Faber (Miami, FL); *Kaitlin Enright (Westchester, NY); Danielle Cooper (Waco, TX); Rachel Rosenberg (College Station, TX); Lexie Polacek (Nashville, TN); Hillary Alvare (Washington, DC); Katie Shorey (Sweden, ME); Katherine Jackson (Washington, DC); Brandi Schmitz (Cleveland, OH); Ellen Short (Washington DC); Samantha Gottlieb (Chicago, IL); Megan Spurrell (Gainesville, FL); Colleen Steadley (Westlake, OH); Karl Pawlewicz (New York, NY); Mel Bourgeois (Schnecetady NY); Yvonne Feltman (Austin,TX); Kellie Tomlin (Albuquerque, NM); Scottie Seawell (Carrboro, NC); Tiffany Cheng (Boston, MA); Megan Williams (New York, NY); Victoire Saperstein (Washington, DC); Stephanie Massaro (Pittsburgh, PA); Vivian DiBuono (Washington, DC); Alex Randall Fischer (New York, NY); Dianne Gentry (Helena, AL); Kristina Nicoll (Toronto, Canada); Rebekah Padden (Gilbert, AZ); Laurel Berkel (St. Louis, MO); Anna Novikova; Alexe Klein (Austin, TX); Esther Leggett (Orrville, OH); Kassidy McNair (Lawrenceville, NJ); Haley Altus (Media, PA); Meghan Kline (Grand Rapids, MI); Lauren Hofmann (Stockholm Sweden); Lauren Kallie (Berkeley, CA); Nastasha Tan (San Francisco, CA); Alli Lyons (Boston, MA); Megan McGrane (New York, NY); Sarah Shaw (Alexandria, VA); Lori Williams (Edison, NJ); Julianne James (Lakewood, OH); Erin Jones (Atlanta, GA); Nikolai May Yde (Copenhagen, Denmark); Kristina Nicoll (Toronto, Canada); Melie Vincent (Edmond, OK); Kristi Rodriguez (Las Vegas, NV); Jessica Gubenko (Merrick, NY); Elie Shields (San Francisco, CA); Christopher Maloney (Washington, DC); Halimah Barnett (Boston, MA); Mollie Schall (Houston, TX); Whitney Maynard (Macon, GA)