Skimm for July 27th

Skimm'd over politics and a large glass of pinot. 

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Unfit for occupancy" -- How athletes are describing the Olympic village. Apparently Rio's getting zero gold medals for electricity, gas, and plumbing. Making everyone nostalgic for Sochi's Pu-Putin platter of problems.

WHEN BILLARY MET SALLY

THE STORY

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton made history. And Bill re-enacted a romantic comedy. All in primetime.

TRANSLATION PLZ.

Last night Hillary officially, officially, became the first-ever female presidential nominee of a major party. Her ex-rival, Sen. Bernie Sanders (VT) even closed out a roll call vote by throwing his support behind Hillz. Aka basically telling his delegates #ImWithHer.

WHAT ELSE HAPPENED?

The moms of victims that inspired the Black Lives Matter movement (Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, Sandra Bland) hit the stage together. They're with Hillary because she "will say our children's names" and invited them to be a "part of the solution."

AND THEN...

The bill came. Bill took off his 'former president' hat and took on the role of First Man. Fun fact: he had to ask Hillz to marry him three times. He told their story of starting off in a small house in AR, calling her his "best friend," who made him "speechless" when he first met her. He then got into how his wife's a do-er who's focused on issues like civil rights, education, and climate change her whole life. Hillary ended the night by digitally cracking the glass ceiling.

theSKIMM

Hillary's road to the nomination has come with lots of bumps in the road (see: personal inbox drama, mass DNC email hack). Last night, Bill talked about another area of her life that's gotten a lot of scrutiny: her marriage. TBD on whether voters felt the love.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…

France. Again. The country is reeling from another ISIS attack. Yesterday, two men who pledged allegiance to ISIS broke into a Catholic Church in Normandy where a priest was performing Mass for a small group. The attackers slit the 85-year-old's throat and held others hostage. Police eventually shot and killed both attackers — one who's been on the radar since he tried to enter Syria last year. This comes after two major attacks in France linked to ISIS: one on Bastille Day in Nice this month and another in Paris last year. This was ISIS's first attack against a church in the West. Add this to a string of other ISIS-linked attacks throughout Europe in recent months, and it's clear that major EU countries are struggling to address this threat inside their borders. President Hollande has said that France keeps being targeted because terrorists "know what France represents" — aka democratic values. But there's also the fact that there is a LOT of tension between Muslims and the rest of French society. France has the largest population of Muslims in Europe. And many of them live in the poorest neighborhoods, and have been banned from things like wearing burqas in public. 

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND SAYS SHE EVOLVED A BULBASAUR…

That's not a real thing. This Miami judge will back you up. Yesterday, she threw out felony charges against a website designer who was accused of laundering bitcoin. That's because, according to her, bitcoin is not real money. Sorry, Winklevii. This case is an example of how law enforcement has struggled to define – and police – the use of the currency. And it's not going away anytime soon. Millions of people reportedly now own bitcoin. Just about everyone else wants to know what the F it is. Bitcoin: a digital currency not backed by any government or bank that you get by 'mining' for it using computers. Supporters say it's the currency of the future. Lots of legit companies (like Dell, Microsoft, and Expedia) even accept it as payment. Skeptics, like this judge, say it's a joke. Digital burn.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR BOSS KEEPS SAYING 'ITERATE'…

Let's find a new word. Earlier this week, Apple reportedly tapped a top exec to lead its super-secret Project Titan. This is the same guy who led the development of some of Apple's main products (think: iPad, MacBook Air). And Titan – which looks like it's a self-driving electric car project – is apparently supposed to be Apple's next big thing. It's reportedly set to launch in 2021, and has hundreds of employees on its org chart. The pressure's on, especially since Apple got its earnings report card yesterday. The grade: even though Apple beat (low) expectations, iPhone sales were down for the second quarter. Aka the first slump since Steve Jobs intro'd it back in 2007. Twitter's under pressure too. Yesterday, the Little Blue Bird had another not-so-great earnings report. Despite bringing co-founder Jack Dorsey back to the CEO job last year, Twitter put up its worst revenue growth ever, and meh user numbers. Learning to fly is hard.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE YOU WANT A SECOND DATE…

The tarot cards never lie. RIP Miss Cleo.

SKIMM THE VOTE

PSA: You can't hire a new prez in November if you aren't registered to vote. We don't judge...we just have every key registration and absentee deadline, and an easy fill-in-the-blanks form for you right here. Do it to it.


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