Skimm'd while fighting over the dress.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"You know who you are" -- House Speaker and "Fashion Police" fill-in John Boehner (R-OH). He's very displeased with the wardrobe choices of certain members of Congress.

THINGS PEOPLE ARE GOOGLING

JIHADI JOHN

THE STORY

Yesterday, officials ID'd the masked ISIS militant who has been beheading hostages. "Jihadi John" is actually Britain's Mohammed Emwazi.

WHO IS HE?

A 20-something who grew up in a middle-class family in London and graduated from a UK university...but then became a terrorist. He started turning up in ISIS's beheading videos last year.

theSKIMM

Emwazi is just one of an estimated 20,000 foreigners who are believed to have traveled to join ISIS.

THE *: Meanwhile, ISIS kept busy this week by abducting hundreds of Christians in Syria, and having a very destructive night at the museum.


NET NEUTRALITY

THE STORY

Yesterday, the FCC gave a big 'yes' to net neutrality. 

THIS AGAIN?

Yup. This means that from now on, Internet providers can't speed up access to some websites just because those sites are willing to pay for a faster connection. The Internet will be treated as a public utility. Translation: The FCC wants you to be able to browse the websites of bigger companies with lots of influence (like Facebook) just as quickly as you can pull up a smaller website, with less clout (like your friend's cooking blog).

theSKIMM

Many, including President Obama, say this is a win for the open Internet. But Internet providers insist this is going to open the door to costly government regulations that will suppress innovation. They plan on taking the fight to court. PS: If net neutrality still gives you a headache, Skimm our fancy guide.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHILE WATCHING THE NEW SEASON OF "HOUSE OF CARDS"...

Argentina smells of Frank Underwood. Yesterday, a judge dismissed charges against Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner for covering up an assassination plot. In last season's episode, Argentine prosecutor Alberto Nisman was found dead in his apartment, days after he accused Kirchner and the country's foreign minister of the cover-up. It was later revealed that he'd drafted a warrant for their arrests. Many thought the timing of his death was more than a little suspect. For a decade, Nisman had been investigating the '94 bombing of a Jewish community center in Argentina that killed 85 people. He accused Kirchner of helping Iran hide its involvement in the bombing. She has denied the allegations, and the judge has now said there's not enough evidence to point fingers at Mrs. President. But enough to make for a great movie.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO'S ALREADY PLANNING A PARTY FOR THE NFL DRAFT…

Thoughts on Adrian Peterson? Yesterday, a judge overturned the NFL's decision to suspend the Minnesota Vikings running back. Last September, Peterson was charged with child abuse. He took a plea deal and avoided jail time. But the NFL still decided to suspend him until at least April. Peterson appealed the suspension, but was denied on the grounds of a new personal conduct policy. Which the NFL decided was a good idea to put together in the wake of Peterson's charges, and the Ray Rice scandal. Now, a judge is saying 'not so fast' -- it's not OK for the NFL to punish Peterson under a policy that came into play months after he was charged. This means that Peterson can talk to the Vikings again, whereas before he was sidelined from any negotiations.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU HEAR CONGRESS STILL HASN'T FUNDED THE HOMELAND SECURITY DEPT…

Maybe they'd like to quit their day jobs and be taste-testers at James Cameron's new vegan school.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT THE LLAMAS ON THE LAM

Suspect number one. And two. Earlier this week, Lupita Nyong'o's $150,000 Oscars dress was stolen from her hotel room. If you see someone wearing 6,000 pearls, say something.

SKIMM READS

"​Single, Carefree, Mellow" by Katherine Heiny

You've never seen awkward written this well. This is a book of short stories about relationships and dating that's kind of like "The Affair" meets "Friends." There's the one with the running partner, the one with the dog, the one with the online dating.


THINK TO KNOW

Quite a week. Here's your Skimm'dex of what went down.


SKIMM LIFE

Skimm HQ doesn't get a lot of sleep and needs a lot of caffeine. We got the coffee thing down, and now we've found tea. This is our favorite.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*Skimm'bassadors

Nancy Lane (New York, NY); *Cara Read (Washington, DC); *Kristiana Salmon (Montreal, Canada); *Amy Lohr (Austin, TX); *Adrianna Domingos-Lupher (Montgomery, AL); *Nina Vascotto (New York, NY); *Alisha Wieckmann (Richmond, VA); *Julia Bond (Tulsa, OK); *Anika Ayyar  (Saratoga, CA); *Maddie Audet (Charlotte, NC); *Krista Shogren (San Francisco, CA); *Rubina Demirjian (Cliffside Park, NJ); *Brittany Sakowitz (Houston, TX); *Laura Dale (San Diego, CA); Tara Woods (Arlington, VA); Kara Romano Brick (Brooklyn, NY); Rachel Shields (Winston-Salem, NC); Kelsey Wessels (Washington, DC); Leah Cowper (Boston, MA); Elizabeth Massaro (Pittsburgh, PA); Sara Wells (Auburn, AL); Kelsey Clark (Norfolk, VA); Kate Lockamy (Auburn, AL); Hope Frick (Elizabethtown, PA); Sara Blakely (Atlanta, GA); Marguerite Zabriskie (Philadelphia, PA); Orlando Lambert (Fort George G Meade, MD); Jack WakefieldMargaret Baucom (Scott AFB, IL); Meg Wilson (Hartsville, SC); Kara Grossman (New York, NY); Brenda McBride (Slippery Rock, PA); Ed Vick (Boca Grande, FL); Dale Oberst Hopmans (Los Angeles, CA); Tia Malkin-Fontecchio (Downingtown, PA); William Mack (New York, NY); Tricia Handza (Philadelphia, PA); Madison Ellis (Richmond, VA); Syzanne Snider (Denver, CO); Joanne Hunter (Brookfield, CT); Fatima Khan (Brooklyn, NY); Carl Tinkham (Mechanicsburg, PA); David Lerman  (New York, NY); Tracy Murphy (Ottawa, Ontario); Lisa Scully (Bloomington, IN); Ana Buling (Washington, DC); Cary White (San Francisco, CA); Nan Silverman (Pittsburgh, PA); Jillian Gaier (Livingston, NJ); Kathy Van Ryn (Visalia, CA); Ashley Buckley (Flower Mound, TX); Laynie Thomas (Atlanta, GA); Emma Southard (New York, NY); Tim Taylor (Astor, FL)

Skimm'd something we missed?

Email [email protected]

Please wait...

Congratulations! Welcome to theSkimm life.

Don't forget to share:

Share & Follow us