Skimm for April 29th

Skimm'd while sipping K-J AVANT Chardonnay. It's 5 o'clock somewhere...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Lucifer in the flesh" – Former House Speaker John Boehner, a Republican, describing Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz. In other words, Boehner's retired and he DGAF.

THAT'S WHAT XI SAID

THE STORY 

Yesterday, China made an NG-O face

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 

The Chinese gov. passed a new law that seriously restricts foreign NGOs and gives police broad surveillance powers over them. NGOs: non-governmental organizations. Think: human rights and environmental groups. Now, about 7,000 of them have to find an official Chinese sponsor and register with the police. The ones that don't get approval will have to close shop. And the ones that do will be subject to things like random searches of their offices. This is seen as President Xi Jinping's way of trying to clamp down on Western influence in China.

HOW DOES THE US FEEL ABOUT THIS? 

Like it opened a bad fortune cookie. Yesterday, the White House said it's "deeply concerned." American businesses said the law will make it harder to operate in the country. And speaking of, yesterday billionaire investor Carl Icahn dumped all his stock in Apple. That's because he's worried China's getting less friendly toward US companies, especially The Fruit. After Icahn's mic drop, the Dow had its worst day in months. 

theSKIMM 

China is the world's second largest economy and its relationship with the US matters. A lot. This new law is a signal that the relationship is about to get even more complicated than usual.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN THE WAITER ASKS 'FRIES OR SIDE SALAD?'...

I'd like to draft the fries. Last night was the NFL Draft – aka sorority bid night for pro football. Who had a good night? University of California QB Jared Goff. He was the number one draft pick by the Los Angeles Rams. Who had a bad night? Laremy Tunsil. The Ole Miss offensive tackle's Twitter was hacked right before the draft, and a video of him apparently smoking pot (while wearing a gas mask) was posted. That high ruined another high – Tunsil moved wayyy down in the draft pecking order. Meanwhile, the NCAA also made moves. Earlier this week, it voted against hosting events in places with anti-LGBT policies (cough, North Carolina, cough). NC -- which is scheduled to host some March Madness games next year -- recently passed a controversial law that says transgender people must use the public bathroom that matches the gender on their birth certificate. Now, the ball might be out of its court.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT...

Syria. Yesterday, an airstrike on a hospital there killed at least 27 people. Reminder: Syria has been going through a violent civil war for five years. There's Team Assad, backed by Russia. And Team moderate rebels, backed by the US and friends. Earlier this year, both sides got together and tried — for the millionth time — to work things out. The talks ended in a ceasefire, which kinda sorta worked for a while. Then yesterday, an airstrike hit a Doctors Without Borders hospital in the key city of Aleppo. It looks like Assad's forces were behind the strike. This comes after a US airstrike mistakenly hit a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Afghanistan last year. Yesterday's violence is especially bad news for Syria, because not only is a badly-needed hospital destroyed, but it looks like the ceasefire is over too.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND WANTS TO ASK OUT HER BOSS...

Probably not the best idea. Example: yesterday, Priceline's CEO resigned after an investigation found that he had an affair with an employee. Business way too casual. The CEO's not getting a severance payment. So much for the Priceline negotiator.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU GET HIT WITH UBER SURGE PRICING...

Might as well call a yacht.

SKIMM READS

"Maestra" by LS Hilton 

The European art world mixes with an underground world (hint: sex parties). This thriller is like "The Talented Mr. Ripley" meets "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." Warning: it's VNSFW. That V is for very.


SKIMM WINE

This wine is clean, crisp, and good to share with your parents. Unlike like this read. Cheers. 


SKIMM AHEAD

Last night was the NFL Draft. You would have predicted the #1 pick would be Jared Goff if you'd downloaded Skimm Ahead. Our new app tells you everything that's coming up, and it can integrate directly into your calendar. Game, changed.


SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm'bassador. Put your records on.

Peter Wiener (New York, NY); Susan Lyne (New York, NY); *Marissa Leese (Louisville, KY); *Jamie Pickard (San Francisco, CA); *Deseree De Leon (Dallas, TX); *Sydney Williams (Omaha, NE); *Rachel Erpenbach (Apex, NC); *Greg Anders (Dallas, TX); *Alex Snyder (Southbend, IN); Chryssy Alba (Chicago, IL);  *Cameron Maddux (San Francisco,CA); *Elena Lyrintzis (Chicago, IL); *Silvana Serra (Paris, France); Jared Engel (New York, NY); *Natalia Anderson (Santa Monica, CA); *Ella Torres (Boston, MA);*Jenny Mendoza (San Antonio, TX); *Kat Murphy (Chicago, IL); *Mykal Carlson (Grand Forks, ND); *Sydney King(Bloomington, IN); *Katrina Busch (Webster, NY); *Miranda Meyer (Grapevine, TX); *Dana Langseth (Santa Clara, CA); *Celisia Stanton (Minneapolis, MN); *Elle Mancini (Fairfield, CT); *Jen Webb (Boston, MA); *Brian August (Detroit, MI); *Emily Mattice (Richmond, VA); *Jenna Ford (Phoenix, AZ); *Lindsay Diggs (Manchester, MD); *Jennifer Klabunde (Waubun, MN); *Elizabeth Anthony (Richmond, VA); *Natalie Woods (Pittsburgh, PA); *Abby Threet (Birmingham, AL); *Jamie Wagner (Orlando, FL); *Mardie Agnew (Malibu, CA); *Kimberly Taft (Jackson, MS); *Alison Blazer (Corvallis, OR);*Christina Galanopoulos (New York, NY); *Grace Greenblatt (Dallas, TX); *Farrah Hodge (Knoxville, TN); *Grace Partridge (Blacksburg, VA); *Hayley Hutchings (Boise, ID); *Jacque Foster (Greenville, SC); *Lauren Singer (Garden City, NY); *Medha Sharma (Philadelphia, PA); *Megan Sperl (Madison, WI); *Tylee Suarez (Austin, TX); *Nathan Turtledove (Kansas City, KS); *Heather O'Shea (Washington, DC); *Nikki Crabtree (Greenville, SC); *Victoria Falcone (New York, NY); *Courtney Zakrzewski (Minneapolis, MN); *Kaley Roberts (Boston, MA); *Martha Stradley (Asheville, NC); *Maya Palmer (Washington, DC); *Rashad Gober (South Hamilton, MA); *Bridget Kelly (New York, NY); *Meg Greenhalgh (Charlottesville, VA); *Rebecca Leigh Oates (Raleigh, NC); *Brenda Beikert (Emlenton, PA); *Lauren Brown (Gainesville, FL); Gaelen Stanford-Moore (San Francisco, CA); Laura Chatzky (New York, NY); Florence Bertucci Vlk (Western Springs, IL); Gabriellle Weiss (Buffalo, NY); Katherine Horn (Needham, MA); Jo Plunkett (Orange Park, FL); Judi Griffin (St. Louis, MO); Kristen Park (Bellevue, WA); Debbi Weiss (Easy Rockaway, NY); *Kelsey Ross (Northville, MI); Megan McElroy (Portland, OR); Michelle Friedman (New York, NY); Pam Bustamante (Knoxville, TN); Richard Jackson (West Bloomfield, MI); Sam Lobel (Highland Park, NJ); Caitlin Lochtefeld (Simpsonville, SC);  Amanda Mooney (Parma, OH); Stephanie Carter (New York, NY);  Christina Owens (Jacksonville, FL); Darcy Nelsen (Chicago, IL); Steve Nelson (Pleasanton, CA); Amanda Taitz (New York, NY); Mallory Towns (Atlanta, GA); Claire Boston (Tuscaloosa, AL); Keri Ferrari (Berkeley, CA); Rachel Schlosser (New York, NY); Deborah Bald (Atlanta, GA); Kara Fulgum (Nashville, TN); Megan Malarkey (Brooklyn, NY); Amy Lucas Dennison (Nashville, TN); Dominique Folacci (New York, NY); Davis Parker (Huntsville, AL); Marissa Cooper (New York, NY); Resa Dowdy (Fayetteville, AR); Richard Tucker (Belle Glade, FL); Sharon Aling (Chicago, IL); Shilpi Chakrabarti (San Francisco, CA); Michelle Stephens (San Francisco, CA); Tracie Stone (Blaine, MN); Gabby Fitz (Boise, ID); Nicole Mashni (Lexington, KY); Zephanii Smith (Stockton, CA); Erin McMahon (Shrub Oak, NY); Charlotte Frank (Danville, OH); Lisa Shanahan (Redwood City, CA); Terri Anneken (Dunedin, FL); Morgan Goetz (Washington, DC); Tatum W. (San Francisco, CA); Margaret Medford (Cleveland, OH); Erica Wieder (Willowbrook, IL); Cait LaMorte (New York, NY); Kate McClung (Jacksonville, FL); Katie Allbaugh (Austin, TX); Stevie Ondra (New York, NY)

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