Skimm'd while celebrating National Tequila Day...early
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Heat Dome" – This season's Polar Vortex, and why you feel like you're living the chorus of a Nelly song.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY BALLOON?
Last night, Donald Trump and the Republican party sealed the deal to the soundtrack of "USA," "lock her up" and "build the wall" chants.
WHAT WAS THE PRE-GAME LIKE?
Quieter. First, Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel (hint: PayPal, Facebook) hit the stage to say he's proud to be gay and a Republican. Yes, that's a first. Then Trump's daughter Ivanka intro'd her dad. Another Trump kid, another good speech. Possibly with the help of a wind machine. Her mission was to show her "fellow millennials" that Trump cares about them. Especially the ladies. That means things like equal pay and childcare...things Republicans don't usually green light. But Trump does, and "has made it a practice at his company."
SO WHAT'D HE ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT?
A lot. The Donald gave the longest acceptance speech in recent history.
Law & Order...as in he's worried about 'Murica. Trump says police deaths have risen by almost 50% from this time last year, and homicides are up across the country. He wants to channel Olivia Benson and weed out terrorists and criminals. Especially the ones who are also illegal immigrants
Immigration...as in he wants to make walls great again, and temporarily suspend immigration from countries that have been "compromised by terrorism."
The economy...as in he's a billionaire businessman who's been in the room where it happens. He said he's not-so-into economic or environmental regulations, and that he'll lift them to create lots of new jobs.
Trade...as in Trump would put a stop to trade deals involving large squads of countries (looking at you, TPP) and only deal one-on-on from now on. He says that'll make it easier to protect US jobs and stand up to nations who cheat.
The TSA...as in he'll "fix" it.
Hillz...as in he does not like. He talked about fan favorites like her private email server as Sec. of State and her handling of Benghazi. He added "this is the legacy of Hillary Clinton: death, destruction and weakness." Tell us how you really feel.
This convention was a bumpy ride logistically (see: balloon drop delay), and when it came to getting the whole party on the same page. But last night, Trump hit all the points that drew record numbers of GOP voters to him in the first place. He's speaking for a lot of frustrated people, and promising change. Prediction: you'll hear the words "law and order" – a lot – from now until November.
THE *: Today, Hillz is gearing up to name her Veep. And then they'll have a convention. We'll be watching.
REPEAT AFTER ME...
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR COMPANY GETS 'RESTRUCTURED' AND THEN YOUR RENT GOES UP...
My week is still going better than Brazil's. Yesterday, authorities in Brazil arrested 10 people who were allegedly planning terrorist attacks around next month's Olympics in Rio. They're suspected of being in a group that supports ISIS. The good news: they apparently haven't been in direct contact with the terror group, and one official described them as "absolutely amateur." The bad news: this adds 'security fears' to the list of reasons Brazil is a hot mess. See: Zika virus, contaminated water, President Dilma Rousseff's impeachment drama. And the Olympics are only two weeks away. Great timing. Meanwhile, Russia's track and field team is officially, officially banned from going to Rio over a doping scandal. Putin on a sad face.
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR BOSS LEAVES FOR A LONG VACATION…
Boy, bye. Yesterday, 21st Century Fox announced that Fox News CEO and Chairman Roger Ailes is stepping down. Rupert Murdoch – the 85-year-old billionaire mogul who controls 21st Century Fox and by extension Fox News – is going to fill the top job. Earlier this month, former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Ailes, claiming she was fired after refusing to have sex with him. Since the lawsuit became public, more than a dozen women – reportedly including Fox News star Megyn Kelly – have come forward with sexual harassment claims against him. So now, Ailes is out. He's been in charge since he co-founded Fox News 20 years ago. And it's been the most-watched cable news channel for almost as long. Now, he reportedly has a $40 million severance package that should help ease the transition into retirement.
PS: 21st Century Fox is a minority investor in theSkimm.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING…
North Miami, FL. Earlier this week, an unarmed black man named Charles Kinsey was shot by police while he says he was lying on the ground with his hands in the air. He's recovering in the hospital from shots to the leg. Kinsey is a behavior therapist, and was in the middle of the street trying to calm an autistic patient who had wandered from their group home when police arrived. The officers say they were responding to a 911 call about a man with a gun threatening to kill himself. They ordered Kinsey and the patient, who was in the street playing with a toy truck, to the ground. A witness video shows Kinsey repeatedly trying to explain the situation, and telling the officers that he and his patient were unarmed. One officer eventually shot Kinsey in the leg multiple times. This comes after weeks of racially charged killings involving police and black men. The Justice Department says it's working with officials in North Miami to decide whether it needs to get more involved.
THING TO KNOW
Seitan: Not the devil. Unless you're gluten-free. It's a meat substitute made from gluten. Your vegetarian friends have been eating it for years. And yes, it 'tastes like chicken.'
Meet the beach read you'll actually want to admit to having in your bag. Follows an African-American family through centuries and touches on everything from the Civil War to the jazz clubs of Harlem. Think: "Roots" meets "Americanah." Bonus: it's written by a 26-year-old, and it set off a big-time bidding war among publishers.
PS: You can still channel your inner Bey by stocking up on theSkimm's Drunk in Love Wine Pack. Cigars on ice, cigars on ice.
* indicates Skimm'bassador. Cheers to you.
theSkimm's Chris Towler (New York, NY); Marc Haves (New York, NY); Ellie Monahan (New York, NY); Alysia Reiner (New York, NY); *Ana Fraioli (Bellerose, NY); *Kristina Lauria (Miami, FL); *Amy Newton (Fort Lauderdale, FL); *Corinn Ploessl (Madison, WI); *Jennie Castle (Fayetteville, NC); *Karina Pepe (New Fairfield, CT); *Melanie Rosenthal (Missoula, MT); *Mia Castillo (New York, NY); *Molly Murchie (Washington, DC); *Olivia Jahn (Dallas, TX); *Ravi Patel (Vancouver, BC); *Susan Wherley (Cleveland, OH); *Winnie Maloney (Madison, CT); *Therese Salazar (San Francisco, CA); *Cathy Jo Ruby (Kuna, ID); *Julie Florence (Chicago, IL); *Alexis Morgan (Johnson City, TN); *Lexi Johnson (Tuscaloosa, AL); *Alexis Miller (Winchester, MA); *Alexa Johnson (Richmond, VA); *Allison Hallock (Boston, MA); *Caitlin Tran (Los Angeles, CA); *Denise Gonzales (Manchester, NJ); *Jessica Schocker Zolotsky (Allentown, PA); *Jodi McCoy (Terre Haute, IN); *Kyle McGrath (Alexandria, VA); *Madison McGhee (Charleston, WV); *Nicole Ayala (West Palm Beach, FL); *Colleen Whiting (Indianapolis, IN); *Jessica Greer (Boston, MA); *Megan Christenson (Chicago, IL); *Riley Shasteen (Laguna Niguel, CA); *Nida Rab (Nashville, TN); *Shiveta Vaid (Minneapolis, MN); Jason Becker (Richmond, CA); Barbara Naylor (Baltimore, MD); Sandy Altman (New York, NY); Dan Marcotte (St. Paul, MN); Ginny Peters (Saratoga Springs, NY); John Odenheimer (Denver, CO); Katelyn Rutledge (Des Moines, IA); Kay Miller (Kohler, WI); Kelsey Ziesig (St. Louis, MO); Kimberly Paris (Raleigh, NC); Megan Case (Baltimore, MD); Megan Neri (Scranton, PA); Michelle LaRue (Los Angeles, CA); Nicole Chiaramonte (Ridgewood, NJ); Phoebe Byers (San Francisco, CA); Robin Miller (Tenafly, NJ); Shannon Coco (Dublin, Ireland); Susan Maxwell (New York, NY); Telma Baez-Vaughan (Temecula, CA); Taylor Willerup (Fairfield, CT); Kelly Boyle (Philadelphia, PA); Paula Gerwien (Alpharetta, GA); Andrew N Taylor (College Station, TX); Liv Henrikson (Santa Monica, CA); Lauren Wood (Nashville, TN); Christina Watts (Logan, UT); Meagan Toner (Staten Island, NY); Alanna Kirwan (Minneapolis, MN); Alanna Loftus (Rockville Centre, NY); Alecia Hamm (West Hartford, CT); Alexandra Duhl (Los Angeles, CA); Amanda Stockett (Raleigh, NC); Ann E. Rhodes (Pompano Beach, FL); Ashley Chelonis (Simi Valley, CA); Connie Chapman (Seattle, WA); Donna Talley (Dallas, TX); Emma Buford (New York, NY); Georgette Mucci (Cleveland, OH); Hannah Goodman (Goochland, VA); Heidi Fraitzl (New Orleans, LA); Katie Landmark (Madison, WI); Lauren Kingston (Plymouth, MA); Liza Pluto (Washington, DC); Maurice Harary (West Palm Beach, FL); Michael Keith (Fort Worth, TX); Sami Tabor (Athens, GA); Stephanie Hunter (Minneapolis, MN); Tierney Boisvert (New York, NY); Tiffany Cisler (San Jose, CA); Trip Tucker (Winter Park, FL); Rob Travers (Blakeslee, PA); Gabriela Thompson (Miami, FL); Paul Kelly (St. Cloud, MN); Alana Berland (Edgewater, CO); Corrine Gahagen (Tempe, AZ); Ashley Swanson (Salt Lake City, UT); Wendy Roshan (Rockville, MD); Joe Baddoura (New York, NY); Polly Holzman (Los Angeles, CA); Nicole Kerstner (West Palm Beach, FL); Ashlin Almquist (New York, NY)
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