There are lots of balls flying in people’s face right now. Literally. That’s because tennis and golf -- aka sports that encourage indoor voices -- are in full swing.
There are four big tourneys (pro-tip: call them Grand Slams) every year. They are...
Australian Open...the one down under that’s over with first. It’s in Melbourne in January every year. This year, Serena Williams lost to German newbie Angelique Kerber. And Novak Djokovic made the trophy his mate, eh.
Wimbledon...the British one where Serena brought back the W. She beat Angelique Kerber (see: Aussie Open rivalry), because revenge is a dish best served ace. She also tied Steffi Graf’s record for most Grand Slams ever won (22). The men’s title went to Brit Andy Murray. Hometown advantage, handled.
US Open...the one in New York that will be all over your Insta feed. After Serena tied Graf’s record , she’ll now be looking to win, win, win no matter what.
Breadstick...Not just what you sneak into your purse at dinner. When a tennis set ends in 6-1. Dude where’s my carb?
Bagel...Not just for lox. When a tennis set ends in 6-0. Aka "Serena crushed it with a bagel set."
Love...Not the heart kind. The hard serve kind. Means ‘zero’ when announcing the score of a game.
Don’t yawn. While golf is good for naps, it’s also good for kicking putt. Here are the four big tourneys (pro-tip: call them majors) every year...
Masters...the one with the green jackets. It’s in Augusta, GA every year, y’all. Last year, then 21-year-old Jordan Spieth won his first major there and became one of the youngest guys to ever win the tourney. This year, Brit Danny Willett won his first major there...making them both virgins who can drive. Drive as in the first shot you take off the tee.
US Open...as in the one on Father’s Day every year. Because golf and dad bods go together like Sundays and not moving. Dustin Johnson (cough, Mr. Paulina Gretzky, cough) won his first major there this year after coming thiiiiis close to winning last year. Grass is greener on his 2016 side.
British Open...as in the one that’s also just called “The Open.” Because the Brits like to think they’re the OGs. It’s the oldest tourney in all of golf. Last year, American Zach Johnson won and got to take home the “Claret Jug” prize. Yes, that’s a real thing.
Par...The number of shots it takes a scratch golfer -- aka the pros -- to get it in the hole.
Birdie...Shooting one under par. Tweet tweet.
Bogey...Shooting one over par. Womp womp.
Duck hook...When a golf shot starts going one way...then abruptly goes the other way. Mid-life ball crisis.
Tennis and golf aren’t just for the country club crowd. They’re hugely popular sports with lots of prize $$, endorsements, and street cred on the line. Game, set, fore.