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Skimm for May 6th
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Skimm'd over Haagen Dazs delivery. Again.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Apply and dry like regular nail polish, and then lick — again and again and again" — KFC on its new nail polish that tastes like fried chicken. Finger lickin' make it stop.

BRAZILLION PROBLEMS

THE STORY

Yesterday, Brazil's house speaker was forced to step down. The country officially needs a Friday more than you do.

NOT POSSIBLE. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 

Brazil's in the middle of its worst recession in decades. And it spent billions on the World Cup and this summer's Olympics instead of on infrastructure and social programs. Cue protesters pushing for President Dilma Rousseff's resignation, and an ongoing process to impeach her over allegations that she manipulated the country's budget deficit. Then yesterday, House Speaker Eduardo Cunha — the guy leading the effort to get rid of Rousseff — was forced to step down while he faces corruption charges of his own. Pot, meet the crooked kettle.

theSKIMM

Yesterday's news adds another element of political unrest to a country that's already veryyy restless. Just months before the entire world descends on Brazil for the Rio Olympics. Snaps for good timing. 

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR TEENAGE COUSIN WHO USES THE WORD 'VAPE'...

Wah. Also, the FDA wants to talk to you. Yesterday, the agency said we see you trying to act all cool with your e-cigs and we hate you. The agency came out with new rules that will now regulate e-cigarettes, cigars, and hookah in the same way they regulate plain ole cigarettes. Meaning people under the age of 18 can't buy them. The rules won't go into effect for a few months, but the announcement means the tobacco industry is about to go through a big change. This comes after years of activists asking the FDA to wake up and smell the side effects of these products. Then this year, the CDC did some research and found that a lot more teens have started vaping, which has been criticized as a gateway to smoking cigarettes later in life. Cough, here we are now, cough.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND INVITES YOU TO A KENTUCKY DERBY PARTY THIS WEEKEND…

The GOP horse race is more entertaining. Yesterday, the Republican party had a mini-meltdown over the fact that Donald Trump is the pretty-much-almost-definite GOP nominee. The RNC is reportedly asking any staffer who doesn't support Trump to empty their desks. The RNC says 'not true.' But earlier this week, the RNC chair made it clear he wants all Republicans to buy a ticket for the Trump train. All this happened on the same day that former GOP candidate Mitt Romney — who's publicly anti-Trump — RSVP'd 'no thanks' to the GOP convention this summer. And then House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) came out and said that he's "just not ready" to support the Donald. What's Trump been up to during all this? Loving Hispanics. And taco bowls.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT...

Jerry Sandusky. Yesterday, it came out that former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno might have known that former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was molesting kids as early as 1976. Ugh. Meaning this might've been going on for 18 years longer than everyone thought. Ugh again. Reminder: a few years ago, Sandusky was found guilty of sexually abusing 10 boys beginning in the 90s. He's now serving a decades long prison sentence. There's been a legal dispute over who should pay the victims -- Penn State or its insurance company. And yesterday, a judge in that case said that insurers are claiming a boy told Paterno that Sandusky molested him in 1976...and that there's no evidence that higher-ups were told. Not a good look. Paterno died of cancer in 2012, so this won't affect any case against him. But this raises a lot of questions about what Penn State knew and when. Meanwhile, Sandusky is appealing his conviction and was just granted a hearing later this month.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU HEAR THAT LYFT IS TESTING DRIVERLESS CARS WITHIN A YEAR...

In other news about that Jetsons life...SpaceX landed a rocket at sea again. Which is a huge step towards cutting the cost of space travel and proving these rockets are reusable (and could one day take you to hang out on Mars). Get in loser, we're going galactic shopping. 

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU RUN INTO AN OLD FLING...

Missed your face. Yours too JT. Yours too.

THING TO KNOW

Yam Lube: Stick with us please. It's a homemade moisturizer for the most important part of your body. Hint: not your face. Farm to under the table.


SKIMM READS

"A Fine Imitation" by Amber Brock 

About a ridiculously rich woman living in NYC in the 1920s and her meh marriage. Enter a mysterious painter from Europe who brings a lot of color — and some shady baggage — along with him. If you love "The Great Gatsby," this is your read.


SKIMM WINE

This bubbly will get you in the mood. Just like this read.


SKIMM LIFE

Fridays mean Netflix & Chill...with Grace and Frankie. Season 2 just dropped and it's marathon time. Binge it here.


SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

*indicates Skimm'bassador. Go shawty. 

Carleigh Connelly (Brooklyn, NY); *Abby Winn (Baton Rouge, LA); Jessica Moskowitz (New York, NY); *Caroline Davidson (Charleston, SC); *Elizabeth Slenker (Philadelphia, PA); *Emily Kellam (San Francisco, CA); *Faryn Scheck (College Park, MD); *Jordyn Zucker (Westfield, NJ); *Kailyn Gaines (Olney, MD); *Natalie Schumann (Bloomington, IN); *Baird Whichard (Greenville, NC); *Dana Kisenwether (New York, NY); *Danielle Pyser (New York, NY); *Rebecca Carlyle(Davie, FL); *Susan Rightsell (Chicago, IL); *Olivia Smith (Columbus, OH); *Samantha Obrochta (Milwaukee, WI); *Shelby Wells (Redondo Beach, CA); *Brielle Cohen (Cooper City, FL); *Caroline Lambert (New York, NY); *Jackie Evans (Honolulu, HI); *Makenzie Conklin (Ann Arbor, MI); *Rekha Philip (New York, NY); *Stephanie Flattery (Buffalo, NY); *Taylor Stevens (Annapolis, MD); *Thelma Abhyankar (Los Angeles, CA); *Verushka Wilson (Memphis, TN); *Brooke Gerner (North Brunswick, NJ); *Anna Beth White (Jonesboro, AR); *Brynn Currier (Fort Myers, FL); *Samantha Allen (Elon, NC); *Grace Payne (Newport, CA); *Chelsea McGowan (Fort Worth, TX); *Alyssa Yaguda (Arlington, VA); Alyssa Nagler (Seattle, WA); Annie Semerar (Columbus, OH); Linsey Fields (New York, NY); Ashley Goldman (Westfield, IN); Sophie Ludel (Los Angeles, CA); Atara Lakritz (New York, NY); Beverly Stiers (Fishers, IN); Carleigh Connelly (New York, NY); Cathleen Rafferty (Cambridge, MA); Courtney Raneri (New York, NY); Daniela Arboleda (Houston, TX); Julie Chan (New York, NY); Elizabeth Wayman (Austin, TX); Erica Sagese (Ann Arbor, Mi); Gail Ryan (Vass, NC); Jenilyn Miller (Boston, MA); Jillian Kavanagh (St Louis); Jolie Britt (Houston, TX); Julie Chan(New York, NY); Kaie Raig (Chicago, IL); Linnea Allen (Ruston, LA); Lorraine Gyulay (Newport Beach, CA); Marianna May (Tampa, FL); Lauren Kemink (Houston, TX); Marti Laird (Saratoga Springs, NY); Nancie McLees (San Diego, CA); Natalie Pennacchia (Port Washington, NY); Rebecca Carlyle (Davie, FL); Risha Bera (Los Angeles, CA); Sara Markisohn (Denver, CO); Sarah Van Schepen (Toronto, ON); Farrell Humphreys (Dayton, Ohio); Jocelyn Buczek (Columbia, SC); Hannah Poindexter (Chicago, IL); Brooke Gerner (North Brunswick, NJ); Julia McGuire (Garden City, NY); Kyle Aganad (Stockholm, Sweden); Belinda Chiu (Toronto, Ontario) Brittney Saunders (Charlotte, NC); Brooke Hammer (NYC, NY); Carly Levinson (Needham, MA); Dany Peabody (Dumfries, VA); Francesca La O (San Francisco, CA); Hannah Armstrong(Wilton, CT); Hannah McClellan (Seattle, WA); Jillian Olsen (Westfield, NJ); Hassana Howe (Gaithersburg, MD); Jacqueline Bray (Utica, NY); Jamie Falk(New York, NY); Jessie Bustamante (San Diego, CA); Jill Pritchard Ghareeb(McLean, VA); Jingya Qiu (Hanover, NH); Kimberly Lara Goldman (Los Angeles, CA); Kristen Thomas (Auburn, AL); Laura Polaske (Poplar, WI); Leah Simon (Palm Beach Gardens, FL); Lesa Mohr (Sugar Land, TX); Maria Gus (Bartlesville, OK); Marianne Murphy (Red Bank NJ); Pam Ellis (Houston, TX); Patricia Clayton (Renton, WA); Rachel Sosland(Nashville, TN); Sarah Jacobs (Wilmette, IL); Verushka Wilson (Memphis, TN); Lynise Walcott (Bergenfield, NJ); Tiffany Metts(St.Peters, MO); Leslie Hammer (Washington, DC); Meghan Miller (Mount Joy, PA); Courtney VanSkiver (Palisade, NE); Savanna Page (Dallas, TX); Laura Polaske (Poplar, WI); Kate Karre (Madison, WI); Tim Brouillette (San Diego, CA); Emma Johnson (Memphis, TN); Katharine Anderson (Charlotte, NC)

Skimm'd something we missed?

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