Skimm'd while last-minute shopping

"Leave presents, take brother!" – A nine-year-old girl's note to Santa. Subtle.

PROCRASTINATION NATION

The Story

The government isn't getting a shutdown in its stocking.

What's going on?

For the third time in recent months, lawmakers were up against a deadline to pass a spending bill to keep DC's lights on. They had until midnight. But yesterday, the House and Senate managed to pass a short-term fix. Again. It punts a lot of issues they were hoping to resolve this year into January.

Like…?

DACA, the program that protects hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants brought to the US as kids from being deported. Earlier this year, President Trump said he's getting rid of it, but gave Congress six months to replace it. Also, the Children's Health Insurance Program, which covers millions of kids and is about to collapse. The temporary bill includes some CHIP funding but not enough for the year. Also, minor things like defense spending.

theSkimm

Lawmakers get to put up their OOO messages for the holidays now. But all these problems will be waiting for them next year. Cheers.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What people are talking about…

Jerusalem. Yesterday, the UN voted to reject President Trump's Jerusalem decision. Earlier this month, Trump reversed decades of US policy by recognizing Jerusalem as Israel's capital and promising to move the US embassy there. It made a looot of people unhappy, because of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Reminder: Palestinians claim parts of Jerusalem as the capital of their future state. Leading up to this vote, Trump threatened to cut off foreign aid to any country that went against him. But nearly 130 countries – including US allies like France and the UK – ignored him. The vote is largely symbolic and nonbinding. But it's the latest sign that Trump's decision is not going over well with Western and Arab allies...and pretty much everyone else.

What to say when you're out late on a weeknight…

Time to leave. Yesterday, Alphabet announced that executive chairman Eric Schmidt is stepping down. Schmidt was Google's CEO for a decade, and later became the chairman of its parent company. He helped make Google a verb. He says "the time is right" for him to step down, but he's staying on as an advisor for Alphabet. Meanwhile, John Schnatter – aka John of Papa John's – is also saying 'pie.' He founded the pizza chain back in the '80s. Papa John's is an NFL sponsor, and this comes weeks after Schnatter raised some eyebrows for criticizing the NFL's handling of the #TakeAKnee protests. He says the protests hurt TV ratings, and in turn his pizza sales, since fewer people were seeing ads. He'll stay on as chairman, but Papa John's says he's leaving the CEO seat to 'pursue personal passions.' Not the personal pizza kind.

What to say to your friend who's having a college football party on New Year's Day...

Did you hear about Dick Enberg? Yesterday, the longtime sports broadcaster was found dead at age 82, from what's believed to be a heart attack. Over his 60-year career Enberg covered pretty much all the balls in the air – including 10 Super Bowls, 28 Wimbledons, and eight NCAA men's basketball championships. His signature line ("oh my!") was well-known to people eating buffalo chicken on couches everywhere. He's the only sportscaster to win Emmys in three categories: broadcasting, writing, and producing.

What to say when you get the worst white elephant gift …

Let down. So is Spain. Yesterday, Catalonia – the semi-autonomous region there that includes Barcelona – voted in a shiny new pro-independence government. This is the opposite of what Spain was hoping would happen. A few months ago, Catalans voted to break up with the country. The gov called the vote unconstitutional, sacked the local gov, and called new elections. Yesterday, a record number of voters went to the polls. And gave separatists a second chance. Now Spain's holding its breath over whether the region goes after another independence vote.

What to say when there's too much traffic…

Blocked. Earlier this week, Twitter announced it's going to start letting users know why certain tweets get blocked. For years, countries have been able to ask Twitter to take down content if it's illegal or violates court orders. Like Nazi symbols, which are illegal in Germany. But there was never an explanation for these blocked tweets. Until now. It's just the latest move by the Blue Bird to be more transparent about controversial content. Meanwhile, Amazon wants to help you procrastinate. It just filed to trademark "AmazonTube." This comes weeks after Google pulled YouTube – which it owns – from Amazon devices over the fact that The 'Zon doesn't sell Google products. Now Amazon's saying 'anything you can do I can do better.'

What to say when your parents still don't know what to get you for Christmas…

How about shares in Long Island Iced Tea, er, Long Blockchain Corp?

SKIMM SLEEP

Hospital corners

As in the acceptable way to make a bed. If you're in the military. It involves making sure the corners get it right, get it tight, and it was reportedly started by nurses in the 19th century. It does not involve pulling your duvet over an unmade bed. Oops.

New year, new you? If you want to catch more zzzs in 2018, and maybe make your bed more often, snag these sheets and this mattress ASAP to help push you in the right direction. They're Skimm HQ's faves. And you get something off the price tag.

SKIMM LIFE

For when you still haven't finished shopping...

We got you. These books are some of our faves. Bonus: they'll ship in time. Because no one wants to go ho ho home for the holidays empty-handed.*

ALSO: If you sent us a book for the book drive and were told it couldn't be delivered, don't panic. Postal services are hanging onto packages until we're all back after the holiday. We'll get them.

For when you crushed that meeting you led…

I'm a boss. This week, theSkimm App is bringing you in-depth Skimm Notes on some world leaders you're always hearing about. Today's is about Chinese President Xi Jinping. Listen here.

For when your entire Instagram is engagement pics…

'Tis the season. Celebrate with this South African sparkling wine, made from Sauvignon Blanc grapes. Pairs well with that single life too.*

*PS This is an affiliate partner, which means if you purchase or sign up theSkimm may get something in return. Thanks.

PROGRAMMING NOTE

Skimm HQ is eating figgy pudding and spending time with family. No Skimm Monday or Tuesday. See you back in your inbox on Wednesday.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm'bassador. Ready to partyyyyyy.

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