Skimm'd while poppin' bottles

THINGS WE SKIMM'D IN 2017

2017 was a total eclipse of the heart. Salt Bae made you swoon. La La...er "Moonlight" won Best Picture. Serena Williams won a grand slam while pregnant. Equifax said 'baby got hacked.' The net is no longer neutral. Harry put a ring on it. Tom Brady has more Super Bowl rings than any QB ever. You couldn't get "Despacito" out of your head. You can't afford bitcoin. Or the iPhone X. Beyoncé broke the Internet. Twice. No one can keep up with the Kardashians. Gal Gadot is your MVP. The Paradise Papers outed some VIPs. Maxine Waters reclaimed her time. The Pittsburgh Penguins and Golden State Warriors are five time champs. That was a lot. Here's what else you need to know…

#MeToo…as in the movement started by activist Tarana Burke that helped people share their experiences of sexual harassment and assault. It took off in a big way after these NYT reporters published accusations of sexual misconduct against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. Cue a flood of accusations against other high-profile men including Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Al Franken, Louis CK, George HW Bush, Dustin Hoffman, James Toback, Brett Ratner, Russell Simmons, Mario Batali, and on and on.

Donald Trump...as in 45 was sworn in. And millions of people showed up to women's marches around the world. He tapped Neil Gorsuch for the Supreme Court. And seated a record number of lifetime federal judges – with more to come in 2018. He signed a historic rewrite of the US tax code. And even though he didn't repeal and replace Obamacare, the new tax law slashes a core part of it. The economy and stock market are on the move. He tried to temporarily ban US travel from seven predominantly Muslim countries. A revised version of that ban is now in effect. He said 'au revoir' to the Paris climate deal and the TPP. He put DACA, NAFTA, and the Iran deal on notice. And much, much more. His White House team did the shuffle. John Kelly and HR McMaster are in. Michael Flynn, Omarosa, Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, The Mooch, and Spicey are out.

Russia...as in zee investigation continues into whether the Trump campaign coordinated with Russia while it attacked the 2016 election. There was the dossier. Michael Flynn resigned. Jeff Sessions recused himself. Don Jr and Jared Kushner had to explain some meetings. President Trump fired James Comey. Comey had receipts. Robert Mueller took over. And has pressed charges against four Trump associates – including Flynn and former campaign manager Paul Manafort. And, after downplaying their role in helping Russian trolls and bots spread fake news, Twitter, Facebook, and Google said 'actually...nvm.'

North Korea...as in Kim Jong Un has everyone's hair raised. The North tested more weapons – including the kind that can reach the US. The international community issued more sanctions. President Trump and Kim called each other names. And Trump promised "fire and fury" if North Korea keeps threatening the US. Meanwhile, the North released detained US citizen Otto Warmbier, who died days later from severe brain damage he got while in custody.

Mother Nature...as in Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria. Deadly earthquakes in Mexico City, on the Iran-Iraq border, and wildfires in California and Oregon. Plus, these disasters you didn't hear about.

So special...as in it wasn't 2016. But the NYT tracking needle had work to do. Special elections in Alabama, Georgia, Montana, Utah, Kansas, South Carolina, California and a regularly scheduled one in Virginia pre-gamed next year's midterms.

Amazon…as in it's a Prime world and we're all just living in it. The e-commerce giant added Whole Foods to its cart. And was the king of the stock market, making founder Jeff Bezos the world's richest man. Twice.

Things we can't stop watching…as in "The Handmaid's Tale," "This Is Us," "Stranger Things," "Big Little Lies," "Insecure."

Cuba...as in maybe cancel that trip. Dozens of US diplomats and their family members in Havana suffered from symptoms that led investigators to think they might've been victims of a sonic attack. Now, they're not so sure what it was. The US pulled embassy staff and warned Americans not to travel there. Cuba said 'wasn't me.' It's still unclear who is behind this.

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)...as in the six-term senator and Vietnam War hero was diagnosed with brain cancer. He had surgery, and then booked it back to Capitol Hill to cast one of three votes that sunk the GOP's Obamacare repeal plan.

Venezuela...as in its economic crisis is an even worse crisis. And Venezuelan President Maduro moved forward with plans to rewrite the constitution to give him more power...despite violent anti-government protests across the country.

China…as in that's what Xi said. President Xi Jinping unveiled his plan to boost China's dominance on the world stage, got his name added into the Communist party's constitution, and is now probably the most powerful Chinese leader since Mao Zedong.

Mass shootings...as in Las Vegas and Sutherland Springs, TX. And the shooting that injured House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-LA) and several others. Las Vegas was the deadliest shooting in modern US history. You heard about bump stocks. And how shootings like this need to stop. Congress didn't pass any gun legislation afterward.

Saudi Arabia...as in the crown prince went on a power trip. First he held his cousin hostage until he agreed to give up his spot in line for the throne. As one does. Then he got rid of his rivals with a sweeping anti-corruption campaign. Meanwhile, Saudi women will soon be able to drive. Groundbreaking.

#TakeAKnee...as in last year, then-San Francisco 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick started taking a knee during the national anthem to protest police shootings of black people. Other players joined in. This year, President Trump said that any "son of a b****" who kneels during the anthem should be fired. Supporters of the players say it's their First Amendment right. Critics say it disrespects the flag and service members. Expect this debate to continue into 2018.

Uber...as in unicorns can't get away with everything. There was #DeleteUber. There was Susan Fowler's blog post. There were sexual harassment investigations. There was a lawsuit over allegedly stolen trade secrets. CEO Travis Kalanick lost his job. Now, the company's hoping to steer in a different direction.

Snap...as in it went public. And had a rough ride in the stock market. But at least there was the dancing hot dog.

People we'll miss…Tom Petty, Mary Tyler Moore, Chester Bennington, Norma McCorvey, Fats Domino, Azzedine Alaïa, and many more. And 20 years later, everyone still misses Princess Diana.

People we won't…Charles Manson.

Syria…as in the civil war entered its seventh year. The US blamed a chemical attack on Syrian President Assad – and responded with airstrikes. This was the first time it's directly attacked Assad's forces. Meanwhile, rebel groups have little territory left, although it's unclear how much longer the war may last.

Terrorism...as in attacks in Manchester, London, NYC, Stockholm, and more. Many, but not all, were attributed to Islamist militants, including those with ties to ISIS and al-Qaeda. Even though ISIS is recruiting on the Internet and inspiring attacks around the world, it got its a** kicked in Iraq, and lost a lot of ground in Syria.

Same-sex marriage...as in same-sex couples in Germany, Austria, and Australia can have their rainbow cake and eat it too.

Charlottesville, VA...as in white nationalists protested the city's plans to remove a Confederate statue. There were torches, Confederate flags, and chants featuring Nazi, racist, and anti-Semitic slogans. At a counter-protest, one man rammed a car into a crowd, killing 32-year-old Heather Heyer. For three days, America watched President Trump waffle on his response. He ultimately said that "both sides" were to blame.

Businesses made moves…as in WeWork met up with Meetup. Stitch Fix and Blue Apron had coming out parties. Meredith got the Time right. Disney went with Fantastic Mr. Fox. And CVS and Aetna agreed to make the largest deal in health insurance history.

I voted…as in France said 'oui' to Emmanuel Macron. Kenya eventually stuck by its sitting prez. Germany's election didn't go as planned for Chancellor Angela Merkel. Japan gave PM Shinzo Abe the thumbs up. Liberia is still a democracy. Meanwhile, Zimbabwe said 'boy, bye' to 93-year-old President Mugabe.

Rohingya crisis...as in the Muslim minority group in Myanmar. This year, the country's army systematically attacked them – killing and raping thousands, forcing hundreds of thousands more from their homes, and burning down their villages. The top UN human rights official says this was a "textbook example of ethnic cleansing." Myanmar's leader Aung San Suu Kyi – who once won a Nobel Peace Prize – has stayed mostly silent.

Catalonia and Kurdish Iraq…as in the Miss not-so-Independents. Catalonia tried to break up with Spain. Spain wasn't having it, sacked the local gov, and called new elections. Catalans voted in pro-separatists. So that backfired. The Kurds (an ethnic minority group spread across the Middle East) tried to break up with Iraq. Iraq wasn't having it. Never mind for now.

Nobel Peace Prize...as in the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons won it. It's made up of groups from dozens of countries that want to ban nuclear weapons around the world. Not a coincidence (hi, North Korea).

Fyre Fest...as in if it seems too good to be true, it definitely is.

SKIMM LIFE

For when you're enjoying some down time...

May we suggest the Best of Skimm Reads 2017.

For when you're finalizing NYE plans...

So is Skimm HQ. No Skimm Monday or Tuesday. See you back in your inbox on Wednesday. Happy New Year.

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm'bassador. Cake, cake, cake.

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