The second GOP presidential debate happened.

Is Donald Trump in the Room with Us Right Now?

The Story

The second GOP presidential debate happened.

How’d that go?

It went. Yesterday, candidates polling a distant second to former President Trump got airtime at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, CA. They scrutinized Obamacare, China, the Biden admin’s border policies, and transgender surgeries for kids. And former NJ Gov. Chris Christie criticized Donald Trump for ducking the debate. He called him…Donald Duck.

How Goofy. Who won?

Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy spoke the most. He wants to end birthright citizenship for kids of undocumented immigrants. And doesn’t mind being on TikTok. Former UN ambassador and former SC Gov. Nikki Haley does. She feels “dumber” every time Ramaswamy talks and wants lawmakers to lose pay if the government shuts down. Haley, former VP Mike Pence, and Sen. Tim Scott (SC) accused Ramaswamy of being in bed with China. Christie and Pence talked about who does or doesn’t sleep with teachers. Haley and Scott faced off about government spending and curtains. And Gov. Doug Burgum (ND) reminded us that showing up is half the battle.

What about Palm Beach Ken?

Gov. Ron DeSantis (FL) keeps falling behind. That might be why he felt it was time to start taking on the former president directly. He also made sure moderator questions got voted off the island. Meanwhile, Trump didn’t seem to give him or anyone else a second thought. Instead, he used the time to address the United Auto Workers on strike in Michigan.

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The first debate introduced Republican voters to options beyond Trump. The second gave them airtime before a fundraising deadline. But if candidates aren’t able to turn zingers into better poll numbers, the US may soon be on track for another 2020 rematch.

What’s entering the chat…

Meta. Yesterday, Facebook’s parent company told everyone it would start putting chatbots of famous people everywhere from WhatsApp to Messenger. Here's what that looks like: starting this week, you'll be able to open WhatsApp and chat with an AI version of Snoop Dogg being dubbed the “Dungeon Master.” Or, you could slide into AI Tom Brady’s DMs and ask him what exactly a tight end is. CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who still plans to fight someone apparently, says the goal will be to change the fact that “most people haven’t had the chance to experience” the new AI tech. Normally critics worry about IP — but in this case, the celebrities are getting checks. Instead, critics worry this will add to the parasocial relationship fans already have with the rich and famous.

Who’s getting the boot…

Mel Tucker. Yesterday, Michigan State University fired the football coach over allegations that he sexually harassed Brenda Tracy, a prominent rape survivor and activist he previously worked with last year. The news ends the career of one of the highest-paid coaches in college sports and comes after years of scrutiny at MSU over sports allegations against sports doctor Larry Nassar. MSU said Tucker’s actions “brought public disrespect, contempt, and ridicule upon the university.” Tucker has said MSU “does not care about my rights.”

Who’s raising eyebrows…

Cher. Yesterday, court documents alleged that the singer hired four men to kidnap her son, Elijah Blue Allman. Allman and his ex-wife Marie Angela King were trying to work on their marriage in New York City when King alleges four men came to take Allman. Now, King reportedly says Cher did it because the couple were trying to “reconcile” their marriage. In the documents, she said one of the men claimed they were hired by Cher. Cher hasn’t commented.

While ketchup and “seemingly ranch” are the next big duo...

Travis Kelce is talking about getaway cars.

Who’s got the eye of the leopard…

Katy Perry.

While the moon is a big boi tonight...

NASA’s Frank Rubio is no longer out of this world.