we have to talk about…
…A recent study that shows pregnant Black women are more likely to get drug tested in hospitals. Researchers point to racial bias.
…How audiobooks are improving kids’ listening skills, and three other benefits that may have you hitting play.
…Why Iowa is essentially kicking families off food stamps, and why more states plan to follow suit.
…Who should be cleaning up kids' messes on planes. Parents or flight attendants? Twitter has a lot to say.
…These nine breakfast ideas to consider rotating into your dinner menu. Who knew waffles could be so versatile?
tell me what to do
Q: My toddler constantly wants to be picked up. How do I deal with the “carry me” phase?
Babies and toddlers may be extra clingy because they’re worried you’ll put them down, leave, and not return. It’s an extremely normal behavior associated with separation anxiety and rooted in important cognitive developmental milestones, says Laura Phillips, a board-certified pediatric neuropsychologist and senior director at the Child Mind Institute.
Here are her tips to comfort your toddler without carrying them:
Love on them throughout the day: Physical, affectionate touch plays an important role in the development of emotion regulation, social learning, and reward processing. That’s why they’re craving (err demanding) your attention. When possible, try to give your kid lots of hugs, kisses, and snuggles.
Reassure them: Tell them you’re always there for them, even if you can’t hold them at that moment. Get down to their level, look them in the eye, and validate their feelings. “I know you want mommy to hold you right now,” and then explain that you need your hands for something else.
Distract them: Tell them you’ll read to them as soon as you’re done folding the laundry and suggest they go pick out a few books. Another option is to get them involved in the task. For example, they can play in their toy kitchen while you cook dinner.
Offer your hand: It may be enough to meet their need for physical touch.
Praise their behavior: If they’re walking on their own, you could say, “I know you wish I could carry you, and I’m so proud of you and your strong legs for walking so far.”
Be patient: Remember this, like everything else, is a phase.
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self-help
Feeling Burnt Out? Try This
Parenting can feel synonymous with being burnt out, but it doesn't have to be. Dr. Kelly Fradin, a pediatrician and author of “Advanced Parenting," has some tips for when you're feeling overwhelmed:
Reach out for support: If you can afford it, hire a babysitter or put your child in daycare. Or ask neighbors, friends, or extended family for help. Just be clear about what you need, says Dr. Fradin.
Start saying “no”: Even if that means you turn down one of your child’s activities. It’s not worse to do less, says Dr. Fradin, especially if you have limited bandwidth or resources.
Put your needs first: Investing in your well-being is the best thing you can do for your kid, says Dr. Fradin. It’ll allow you to better foster a safe and nurturing relationship with your kid, which is one of the most important predictors of a child’s well-being. Find time to move your body (because endorphins). And prioritize sleep. Sleep deprivation can worsen your ability to cope, says Dr. Fradin.
Connect with others: This is especially important for single moms who may feel more isolated. Try to set aside time for a phone call, coffee, or a night out with friends. Social connections can relieve stress and give you a mental health boost, says Dr. Fradin.
Consider talking it out with a professional: It could help you figure out whether you're burnt out or suffering from depression or anxiety. All of those things are treatable, and therapy and/or medication could help.
research says
Breastfeeding Costs More Than Formula
A study from Yale estimates that breastfeeding for one year can cost families around $8,640 to $11,600, which includes the costs of pumps, bottles, vitamin supplements, additional food, and time spent feeding or pumping. Compare that to a year’s supply of formula, which can cost between $760 and $2,280 (depending on baby’s feeding habits and nutritive needs).
Breastfeeding’s hefty price tag presents the biggest challenge for low-income families. Think: A family of two living just below the federal poverty limit makes about $19,000 per year. The study confirms many challenges mothers face when deciding how they can feed their little ones. And reaffirms that American policy has a long way to go in addressing these inadequacies.
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