Is “hurried child syndrome” real?

We Have To Talk About

The latest in parenting news, tips, and trends:

Why return-to-office mandates are typically bad news for working moms — looking at you, Amazon. If you want to ask for flexibility, here’s how to prepare. 

How constantly feeling like you’re running on E could be a sign of “depleted mother syndrome.” Here’s how some moms deal with burnout, including a monthly ritual anyone could adopt. 

… And somewhat related: Is “hurried child syndrome” real? Turns out — it has very little to do with telling your kids to “hurry up.” 

A reminder that even famous moms struggle to balance careers and motherhood. To make it work, Ali Wong turns to this surprising person for backup on tour, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus told herself this when she felt guilty on set.

The best and worst states for working moms, based on things like childcare and work-life balance. New England is looking real good right about now. 

Ask an Expert

Last week, we asked you to vote on a question to answer. The winner was:

What are some ways to manage stress and avoid burnout as a working mom?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Neha Ruch

Founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause

“One of the best lessons in parenting is that almost everything passes -— stages with kids, seasons in life, and sprints at work,” Ruch says. 

Here are her tips to help you avoid burnout:

• Prioritize: Write your "North Star" goal — a singular mission statement focusing on a personal, career, or family objective. Use that to help you make decisions, whether it’s going after a promotion or savoring mealtime without stressing over picky eating. And remember, priorities shift with each new chapter you’re in, Ruch says.

• Let go: If it’s not a priority for you or your family, drop it for now, Ruch says. You can pick it back up later. “It’s easy to scroll through social media and create a fiction of the ideal parent. The reality is that behind the scenes everyone is choosing what to focus on and what to let go of,” she says. 

• Get the help you need: A recent survey found that 29% of moms who paused or scaled back their careers have never had any help — including from extended family. To ease the load, start by leaning on available resources, like your partner (if you have one), mother’s helpers, laundry services, or meal prep kits. 

TOGETHER WITH NEW YORK LIFE

Ready for Anything

One thing all working parents (and especially single working parents) have to think about? The unexpected. Because life’s usual costs won't just disappear if you experience income loss…or surprise medical expenses, market volatility, property damage, or premature death. 

Now for the good news: There are steps you can take to manage these financial risks, like building an emergency fund, getting insurance coverage, and estate planning. This family finances checklist is a great resource to get you started. Oh, and the professionals at New York Life can provide guidance and support every step of the way. See what we mean.

Mom Q&A

Dr. Becky on Ways to Help Our Kids With Anxiety

ICYMI: Today’s teens are part of the anxious generation. So we spoke with Becky Kennedy (Dr. Becky), clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, to get tips on how we can help our kids with their mental health —  even when we’re stressed out from work. Our first question:

How can I make sure I'm not passing my work anxieties on to my kid?

Research Says

Where the 2024 Presidential Candidates Stand on Childcare

Busy moms, we’ve got you covered on the childcare policies from 2024’s presidential candidates. Here’s a quick look at where they stand so you can stay informed without the extra research.

Former President Donald Trump: 

• Child Tax Credit: During his presidency, Trump raised the Child Tax Credit to $2,000 per child. He hasn’t yet clarified his plans for the tax credit if reelected. Meanwhile, his running mate, Sen. JD Vance, suggested raising it to $5,000 and removing income caps.

• Paid family leave and childcare: The current GOP platform does not detail specific proposals on childcare or paid leave. Trump has called it “important” but has not released a plan. 

Vice President Kamala Harris: 

• Child Tax Credit: Harris supports boosting it to $3,000 per child, with higher amounts for preschoolers ($3,600) and newborns ($6,000). Her proposal would make the full tax credit available to all families, regardless of how much they earn.

• Paid family leave and childcare: Harris’s platform includes paid family leave and affordable childcare, aiming for universal pre-K and setting a cap on quality childcare costs for millions of working families at “$10-a-day per child.”

PS: It’s time to create your voting plan. Our simple-to-use tool will help you check your voter registration and build your ballot.

No One Asked Us, But...

We have thoughts. This week, we ranked how effective these “time-saving hacks” are from 0–10. No science, just snark.   

Hard pass:

2/10 Waking up early: If you're looking for a productivity hack, this isn't it. We're already sleep-deprived. Consider this your permission to take the extra Zzzs when you can.

3/10 Planning your kid’s outfit the night before: It could work or they could change their minds the next morning. Save your energy.  

Ehh:

5/10 Sharing a family calendar: This only works if everyone uses it — so if you find yourself giving them constant reminders, it’s time to try something new.

More of this:

8/10 Designate a drop zone: It’s a spot for incoming items — mail, packages, bags — and where you can store on-the-go things like keys, coats, and dog leashes. Here are some ideas for setting yours up.

10/10 Automate what you can: We’re talking about setting bills to autopay, creating Amazon shopping subscriptions for the items you regularly use, and more. The robots can have these tasks.

Relatable