Leaning into “lazy parenting”

We Have To Talk About

The latest in parenting news, tips, and trends:

The "orchid child" and why you may need a new strategy to help build their confidence. Less correcting, more connecting.  

Whether Gen Alpha kids are confident, arrogant, or just misunderstood? Here’s how parents can help them find a balance. They're called "honey badgers" for a reason.

The toxic traits disrupting girls’ self-esteem, plus ways to take the pressure off. We could all benefit from these tips.

Dr. Becky’s reminder that shy, quiet kids can also be confident. If they need a little push, here’s how you can help them open up. Note: It will take time.

Five ways to boost self-confidence in your kid after a divorce. It’s OK to be vulnerable. 

PS: Check out this podcast (featuring Dr. Aliza Pressman) on how we can avoid mistakes our parents made to raise more tenacious kids.

Ask an Expert

Last week, we asked you to vote on a question to answer. The winner was:

How can I help my toddler switch from screen time to other activities with less frustration?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Larissa May

Founder of #HalfTheStory, a nonprofit dedicated to improving young people’s relationship with technology

“[Toddler] brains just aren’t ready for screens. Their senses get overloaded…often leading to a meltdown. Taking a screen away without offering something else to do is one of the worst things you can do,” says May. 

She has four “S’s” to make the transition easier:

• Soothe: If your kid is losing it, the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and use a calm voice (even if all you want to do is shout back). “Avoid talking about the screen, and focus on what fun thing is coming next,” says May.

• Swap: “Taking a device away is like taking an ice cream cone away. Even teens struggle with this,” says May. For toddlers, you should have something just as engaging ready to go, like coloring books, slime, or another favorite toy. The key is to swap it in immediately.

• Sensory activation: “Screens are hard to compete with, so find something that activates as many senses as possible,” says May. Musical instruments (like baby drums, bells, or mini pianos) are great for this — they engage sensory play, rhythm, and motor skills. 

• Sequence: It’s all about creating a routine. Repeat these steps as soon as your child starts using screens. “Remind them whenever they put the screen down that something fun is coming next. Replace the fear of losing the screen with the excitement of what’s next,” says May.

The Resource

Here are some of our favorite books to boost confidence and self-esteem in your kids: 

• Giraffes Can't Dance

• All Because You Matter

• Be Who You Are

• I Like Myself!

• There's Only One You 

• Brown Girl, Brown Girl 

• I Am Enough

No One Asked Us, But...

We have thoughts. This week, we ranked independent play activities from 0–10. No science, just snark.   

Hard pass:

2/10 Phonics bus: It comes with 173,030 buttons that produce just as many sounds, and while it is supposed to be educational, you’ll mainly learn how to take deep breaths so you don’t chuck the bus out the window. Just make it shh. 

Ehh

5/10 Any musical instrument: I love the idea of them, but is it truly music if your toddler is just banging on a drum or making out with a harmonica? Save it for when the grandparents visit.

6/10 Bilingual talking flash cards: They’re interactive and a great way to practice Spanish. Con: It's hard to keep a pile of cards tidy.

More of this

9/10 Yoto Mini: You insert a card into a portable player and it plays audiobooks and music, plus gives instructions for activities. My son will sit quietly and listen to multiple cards in a row (or just one on repeat). 

10/10 Magnetic maze board: It’s engaging, fun, and quiet. Plus, it’s a great way to practice counting, color recognition, and fine motor skills. No batteries needed.

Relatable