What’s Your Sexual Script?

Well, Well, Well...

Catch up on the latest health news, tips, and trends.

The list of perimenopause symptoms keeps growing — even your dental health may be at risk now. But taking these steps can help you brush off trouble in the future.

If you’ve ever wondered if “man flu” is real, there’s finally an answer. Forward this to anyone (um, any man) who may need it. 

We could be exposed to how many chemicals via food packaging and contact? At least there are ways to lessen our exposure.

If you’re feeling irritable or tired all the time (same) but it’s really bothering you, it could be an iron deficiency. Weirdly, an “iron fish” might help.

Moms, it's not all in your head: These new MRI scans show how your brain changes during pregnancy and postpartum. For those who forget things easily (parents or not), here's a solution.

We Have To Talk About...

What’s Your Sexual Script? 

While one study says lesbian women (86%) have orgasm rates similar to straight men (95%), many straight women are still staring across a chasm of untouched clitorises and unreached peaks . That might be partly because of “sexual scripts,” which can make sex feel like a performance instead of a source of pleasure. 

Tell me more

Sexual scripts are the narratives we learned from movies, TV, and porn about how sex “should” be, says sex educator Tara Jones. They typically center men’s pleasure, and there’s little to no clitoral stimulation — something about 70% of women either needed or had better orgasms with during sex, according to one study. 

While representation of sex in media has come a long way, certified sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD, says many women internalized these scripts from a young age, considering some started seeing porn as young as age 9. “Almost every couple has some kind of script,” says Richmond. It might go something like: “Kissing, some kind of foreplay, kissing, [finger] penetration, oral sex, intercourse,” she explains. If that works for you, great — but it might not for everyone.

Even if that’s not your exact script, these elements may sound familiar: faking orgasms, prioritizing positions your partner likes, or exaggerating your pleasure (IYKYK). All of this performance only widens the orgasm gap. “When we're in performance mode, that typically means that we're in our head,” says Richmond. “Pleasure mode means we're more in our body.”

Your move

Instead of relying on ineffective sexual scripts, incorporate “erotic flexibility,” says Richmond. Try that with:

• Self-exploration. Experiment with toys, lubes, and fantasies. Richmond says to tap into your five senses and think about what you might find sexy.

• Reflect on what you like and don’t. Consider your own needs and ask yourself if there’s anything you’d like to add to or remove from your sex life. 

• Communicate with your partner. Swap fake orgasms for conversations that’ll help you achieve the real thing.

Ask An Expert

Last week, we asked you to vote on a question to answer. The winner was:

I popped a zit. How do I make sure it heals properly?

FEATURED EXPERT:

Navin Arora, DO

A board-certified dermatologist and founder of Borealis Dermatology

Treat it like a scrape or other superficial skin wound. Here’s what Arora recommends: 

• Clean the area: Use a gentle cleanser or antiseptic wipe, and avoid harsh scrubs.

• Apply an ointment: Something simple like Aquaphor or Vaseline works. If it’s inflamed or pus comes out, Neosporin can help prevent an infection. 

• Cover the area: Try hydrocolloid pimple patches, since hydrocolloid absorbs drainage and helps the wound heal.

• Watch for infection: If you notice increased redness, swelling, or pus, reach out to a dermatologist.

If you popped a zit right before a big event, here’s what Arora says to do in an emergency.

We asked Skimm’rs what they wish people knew about going through fertility treatment and this response really stood out. Many others also shared how mentally, emotionally, and financially draining the process can be. If you’re looking for support, check out Fertility Out Loud. They provide helpful resources about insurance coverage and available treatment options like IVF, IUI, egg freezing, and more. They can also connect you to a fertility specialist in your area. So you can feel informed and empowered throughout your fertility journey. Join for free today.^†

Well Spent

We're sharing our favorite products to help you live a healthier life.

When food waste stresses you out…

Chuck your food scraps — including everything from chicken bones to coffee grounds — into this trash-can-sized bin that turns them into dried grounds overnight, without the stench. Important, because the almost 60 million tons of food Americans toss annually release a gas in landfills that’s 28 times more powerful than CO2 at trapping heat within the atmosphere. Add the grounds to your garden, compost, or have them picked up by Mill. Enjoy the euphoric feeling of wasting less.

Quote of the Week

"Flexitest"

A simple test to see how flexible you are. Does bending over backwards to people-please count?